Friday, June 16, 2006

Ann Coulter: The Devil Wears Short Skirts

I planned on either writing “10 must-see movies you haven't seen part III” or another “Summer Blockbuster Series” post on An Inconvenient Truth and how global warming affects the sports world, but this tramp named Ann Coulter went and pissed me off. Coulter appeared on The Tonight Show with host Jay Leno and guest George Carlin. Let’s just say she was lucky Carlin, a comic genius and perhaps the most ruthless verbal assassin of our time, bit his tongue while sitting a few feet away. I, however, will not bite my tongue, or keyboard, rather. As a liberal, I feel personally attacked by Coulter. Well, “Ms. Right,” I have an outlet, too.

I despise Ann Coulter. She is an Amazon blonde that staunchly conservative GOPs geek out over, hanging on to every word of hers like it came from a Jedi-like hologram of Ronald Reagan communicating from the afterlife. Personally, I think she’s a trashy, pompous you-know-what that, to quote The Forty-Year-Old Virgin, has “hands as big as Andre the Giant's” and “an Adam's apple as big as her balls.”

Let’s look at the name of her latest book: Godless: The Church of Liberalism…

Yes, I am a liberal. So, in Coulter’s estimation that makes me “Godless.” I consider my girlfriend a moderate Republican. Last time I checked, I go to church just as frequently as she does, which is about every week. Does that make her “Godless,” too? If so, at least she doesn’t wear skirts that, to quote Kingpin, she needs “two hairdos” to wear.

Seriously, what makes Coulter so much more moral than Me.

She wears hoochie skirts, is a fan of Chris Rock and the Grateful Dead, looks up to George W. Bush (Bush’s job approval ratings… LINK), is racist, and thinks women are "not as bright" as men and that “it would be a much better country if women did not vote.”

I wear clothing that is actually in-style, am a fan of Bill Maher and Led Zeppelin, look up to Hillary Rodham Clinton, embrace people of all races, and think that women should not only vote, but also believe that women have the capacity to think on an even par with their male counterparts.

Really, what’s the difference? That I have good taste, don’t worship one of worst Presidents ever, don’t cut holes in my pillowcases, and actually believe in the Nineteenth Amendment.

Let’s take a look at some of her quotes from last night...

"From my perspective, I'm Dorothy, and I just dropped my house on the mainstream media!"

That’s a heck of a comment coming from someone who looks and acts like the Wicked Witch of the West.

"The funny thing is I'm calling Liberals Godless, well, there fine with that, just don't say anything about the Jersey Girls."

I am not fine with the “Godless” nonsense. See above. As for Jersey Girl, I thought the movie stunk. Just kidding. No, seriously, I happen to sympathize with widows no matter how they behave after their husband’s deaths. I especially sympathize with anyone who was personally affected by the 9/11 tragedies.

"I wear their contempt as a badge of honor!"

You wear contempt as a badge of honor? I could have sworn you wore skankiness as a badge of honor. Boy, was I wrong.

I’m not naturally malicious, folks. It’s just that this repulsive bigot brings this side out of me. In my opinion, someone who unjustly blasts women, minorities, and anyone and everyone whose views are different from theirs in anyway, deserves what I am dishing out and more.

I’m not the only one that thinks she’s a witch, either. In 2005, she had her syndicated column dropped from the Arizona Daily Star. Star Editor/Publisher David Stoefffler stated the following about Coulter, “We've decided that syndicated columnist Ann Coulter has worn out her welcome. Many readers find her shrill, bombastic and mean-spirited. And those are the words used by readers who identified themselves as conservatives.”

With conservative friends like those, who needs liberals, women, or minorities? Not Coulter, I guess.

4 Comments:

At 1:50 PM, Blogger Nicol DuMoulin said...

Well I agree with one thing you said...

Jersey Girl did stink!

I'll continue to visit your blog.

Long live free speech for both sides.

Best!

 
At 1:59 PM, Blogger Adam Best said...

Nicol, I couldn't agree more about both Kevin Smith's last effort and free speech. However, all politics aside, I think that Coulter is an evil person that deserved this keyboard lashing.

Best wishes right back at ya!

 
At 4:36 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Ann aint so bad. Somebody just need to create her a profile on Match.com and hook her with somebody.
Its obvious that she was screwed over by some guy in highschool, or college. She then entered a lesbian relationship and got dumped too. She then tried interracial dating, but couldnt handle the thought of "what her parents would think".
Thats her life in a nutshell. A nomad. A Bedouin. A Eunuch.
Dont worry about the words she say or write, lets worry about the people who buys into her gibberish because they are the dangerous ones. Remember, Hitler was just an orator, but his followers were the evil doers. -Judaz

 
At 4:44 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

she's intelligent. she can write. she makes money pissing people off.

how the hell can you despise that?

 

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